You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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