What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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