BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
