So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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