Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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