He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
