i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
