First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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