I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
