how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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