i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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