ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
