Im at strip club and am horny
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
