i think i have herpe
just one?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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