Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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