Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
