thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
