I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
