just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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