just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Plan B is the new Plan A
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize