Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
