yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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