I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
