it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
