I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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