They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
