kristin has been a bad kristin
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
ok first of all what the fuck
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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