it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
