ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
