Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
