Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
