Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
