I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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