He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize