i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
