As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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