Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize