If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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