You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
