We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
