Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
