just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
