I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
