I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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