Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
