He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
