I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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