they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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