Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
