i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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