fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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