I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
