we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
