So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
