Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
