I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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