Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
