I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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