she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
