Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
