oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
