Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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