dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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