I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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