And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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