another moral hangover. fuck.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
