I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
