I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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